happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me~, happy birthday to me (:

awesome 18! i'm legal already! hahaha. yeh.

i love you.

coolio eighteenth (:

again, a naked heart exposed.
vulnerable, not to the surrounding,
but ironically, to what's closest, dearest.

those feelings, evoked by a musical,
ever so familiar, yet why does it still grips.
truly, deeply, madly. the ripples extracts.

without knowingly, the distance stretched.
a stonewall built.
a heart rejects.

a pit stop? to fuel the river?
or a full stop? an abrupt end?
hard - to break through - stonewalled.

controlled praise ain't praise at all.
ain't love when a heart's trapped,
stonewalled, reflectors of emotions.

oh my.

why am i so silly.

haha.

ohwell.

(:

i love you(:

it's time to put down the workload, and pick up the books.
the opportunity cost of not studying and regretting later is far too heavy for one to comprehend.
therefore, the bottomline stands. study.

was at the airport, but didn't managed to study there.
instead, almost finished the book i purchased from boders earlier on.
afterwards was but a blur, am just glad everyone's back safe and sound.

hahah, my parents just came back from malaysia,
wonder what good food they brought back..
oh well, sleep now, check out tmr [:

hope you're fine, sleeping soundly, dreaming sweetly,
tmr's gonna be a brand new day.. it's got to be.
happy, happy, first 31 days (:

make sure you crash them so hard they can't stand up.
winded. that's how they should stay.
rugby. cougars. we go in hard.

wow, amazing huh, how long since i last blogged.
the changes that had taken place till now,
looking back, everything seemed so foreign now.

it's raining outside now, the council roo's cold.
oh, bet many of you wouldn't believe it, i'm councillor, a house chairperson.
yea, and i was looking through many others', realized how much things've changed.

so many events since i stepped into JJ.
and i dare say i'd really had loads fun here.
hahaha, the rests are shouting screaming in here spoiling my emo mood [x

tmr's got a gp test.
ain't prepared yet. hahah.
but hey, i'm just gonna take a step back and relax for a bit first.

howsun just came over and "oh. finally. like from, 21st march?"
hahah, can't blame me, ain't got the time nor mood to blog.
random, i feel like eating char kway teow.

mr leow's in bintan. wonder if he's having fun.
ohwell, looking forward to sat's SLO gathering then.
so cool, og8, F3, SLO, council. and more to come.

lalaa. lost my mood to blog.
well, till next time, take care all,
pleasant semester (:

i lay my love on you
it's all i wanna do
everytime i breathe i feel brand new
you open up my heart
show me all your love, and walk right through
as i lay my love on you.

this week's been really weird for me.
only times i'm enjoying the days were when i was with the SLOs.
in class, i don't feel comfortable yet..

monday was totally moody.
ask me why and i'll tell you i've no idea.
i really don't. i think. probably's the blues.

tuesday was better i guess,
if i ain't wrong we left school around eleven plus.
it was fun though, i love staying in school anyway.

wednesday class ended pretty early,
and i had shooting trials, not bad for me, but jess's.. [x
simon treated us SLOs to swensons too ;D

thursday was really fun with all the lessons,
and sleeping sessions during [x ohmann..
chatted at jp till one am with some too :D

today's really cool we went to sew banner at cheong's aunt's place.
was late to meet simon and howsun though [x
the banner's huge i tell you, covers up the netball court!

we finished up rather quickly though, and slept a lil while waiting for simon.
met up with some at westmall and had a huge dinner at macs.
then the playground kid in us came rushing to the surface [x

painting banner tmr, it's gonna be fun :D
and i'm so looking forward to o2 F3's meeting tmr!!!!! :D:D:D:D
it's gonna be so awesome! love!

come to think about it, i'd been getting too affected by certain issues.
maybe it's real, maybe i'm just thinking too much.
but i've been letting it eat me up.

i've realized, all these, we've no control over.
i shouldn't get moody over such trivial matters.
what's more important's we live life happily [:

so here is what i'm gonna say,
i'll live, love and lame that's my game.
happy-go-lucky's my middle name! yay!

hahah, random.
aww. i miss my friends.
i should probably get to bed seems everyone's asleep already.

well, sleep tight, you all,
i'll be right here, if you ever need me.
by my phone, that is [:

good night ..

i miss school.

i miss F3.

i miss o2.

i miss o1.

i miss mass dancing on stage.

i miss slacking in LN.

i miss lying on field watching stars.

i miss cheering.

i miss sleeping together.

i miss you. you, you, you and you.

dang, that sucky feeling to be missing something/someone.

love JJ.

that empty yet heavy heart.

the frown i have while remembering the smile i had.

such irony, that you only see the value after, not during the event itself.

be it an event, or time spent with.

know what, i am an introvert.

do get shy around.

some times, certain behaviours are for self preservation.

to protect, myself.

from being exposed to pain again.

physical pain ain't nothing to me.

i'm a rock.

fragile core.

layers of walls.

hide my innermost.

remember only the good, drop the bad.

it's a way of self preservation.

oh well.

ohmann.
just random things.
cool. funny.

take care, all.
people are falling sick, don't be the next.
drink more water.

goodnight,
and sweets, sweet dreams.

love F3.

just back from the camp and i'm missing it already.
many times during the camp just reminded me of o2's.
it was nostalgic.

there's so much to learn.
life lesson's everywhere whenever you're with simon.
word of the month: treasure.

the run, the $13 dollar meal, the helping out for JJ night,
wow, it's just imprinted in my head.
esp the helping out. totally made me miss o2's preparation.

the best night was the second night when we slept together as o2f3!
chatted and laughed and smiled and said goodnights.
been through so much, family three.

and the last day ended with a blast!
simon decided he wants to play waterbombs.
so ended up having an impromptu session of kinetic warfare SLO edition.

it was so great, and we did we will win the war in the rain at the hockey court.
water splashing everywhere. wowzers.
and decided on trips for june and end of year :D

slacked in LN after washup, wow that place's really the most comfortable i must say.
and we ransacked the place for food.
ate up somebody's cheese cake. OOPS!

dinner with F3 was just the most amazing. and amusing!
all thanks to christopher who totally went bonkers with me :D
it was just so great. guess it must be from missing F3 too much huh.

well, headed home late, with an empty hollowed heart.
sigh. maybe i was just missing the camp.
simon's right that it's so uncomfortable to be missing something.

oh well, was glad to see my mom again,
didn't get to see daddy cuz he was asleep by the time i got home.
and he'd left for work now that i'm up. hahah..

today's rest day i suppose.
hmm.. such heavy yet hollow feeling.
silence ain't always golden. not this time..

have an awesome week, all of you.
take care and drink gallons of water!
smile, and the world smiles with you.

hi lovelies,
it's been a long while since i last posted something [x
forgive me, just haven't had the time and energy to blog.
heh d:

o2 camp was really great for me,
even though i didn't manage to have fun to the max due to the fever,
but hey, it's still been great, :D

last weekend was rather fun,
had howsun, jess and simon coming over for my housewarming,
then met up with delwin and headed to town after.

it was damn cool, simon bought us chocolates and it was heavenly.
he got us books too, i've no idea what to say mann.
hahah, he's definitely GTS :D

this week's been great fun too.
had verbal nuggets yesterday and it was mass dance :D:D:D
tried shooting too, i think it's damn interesting :D

i ate four pratas today, and guess what, the cheese one's real good :D
i got vandalized today too, all thanks to hidayah, jessidiot and breylee. ohmann.
hahah, enjoyed myself today though :D school's real good.

went for dinner with a few, and howsun joined us later.
ehh, i've no idea what else to blog about.

oh ya, we're gonna start a cheerleading idp in school :D
family three performing during talenttime :D
many people joined touch rugby (cool next time can play rugby during breaks too)

i'll be at another camp next week. will be rather busy :D
oh i'm an SLO. coolness, hahahah
i'm just loving my school life. :D:D:D

alright folks, have a splendid night.
those who are gonna stay up late, drink more water!
take good care. hahah :D

early morning late at night,
F3 charging out to fight.
all united as one,
we will win the war this time.
we will win the war!

pleasant night,
it's been a rather eventful week.
so much that i haven't been getting enough sleep :D

wednesday's yog practice.
thursday singapore won the bid.
friday, yesterday, was sucha a blast.

the day was filled with talks for the campers.
they're alot better already.
had fun stoning too [x

then it was free lunch by mr koh.
it was awesome, macs, kfc and pizzahuts.
and my appeal was approved too! that got me real high !

sessioned with the teachers, then it was family time.
totally entertained ourselves, retard, jamie, jolyn and i.
hahah you wouldn't imagine how high and retarded we all got.

then the four of us took simon leow's car to go get bubbletea.
he skidded and drifted and parked at the busstop [x
the J's left and we returned to school.

oh, leow seemed to be fascinated by retard [x
we returned and made a video with barney.
it's hilarious. ask me for it if you wanna watch.

seriously, leow's GTS. hehh.
and we played on for awhile and went to have dinner
simon leow's treat :D

today's a great day.
not that bad i guess.
hahaha.

oh, guess what, xiang hui's my camper.
and best still, anna beth's my camper [x
how amazing. hahah!

and i know of a secret of jess.
heh and that of retard's.
and that of the guy i took bus home with last night,

hahaha, alright, goodnight everyone,
dream sweet and sour fish [x
sleep while you can, heh :D

haha. oh well...

folks.

ogl prep camp was really enjoyable.
despite the tiredness from the meagre two hours of sleep and the various taxing activities,
the camp really brought us together closer as a family.

day one started with mass dance.
got ourselves famiiarized with the many dance steps and all.
dinner, song-singing aka emo session next, followed by the one round night game.

supper and lights out, which was at one thirty.
family three and all ended up sleeping 'together' thus the barrier was ineffective. lol
funny thing was retard was only 5cm away yet we were sms-ing.

finally got to fall asleep, can't kick the habit of having songs before i drift off.
and at three thirty, the hall's evacuated due to fire drill.
gathered at old parade ground and got reprimanded and all :D

so we returned and did some line dancing.
senior's tucked in looks were really interesting.
bet they're lacking sleep.

morning pt was just a warm up mann.
afterwards was telematch i think.
then washup and breakfast, if i ain't wrong.

oh, i think i missed out family dance which family three owned.
we had near perfect scores of 9/10, 9/10, 8/10 and 9/10.
go calculate the mean yourself :D

got rather high during breakfast,
probably due to the lack of sleep [x
one banana two banana three banana four, :D

second session of mass dance was great too,
and then there was kinetic warfare :D:D:D
wet games rocks totally.

i think i've mixed up the timings, but who cares [x
mr koh the principal came to talk to us,
it's an honour okay cuz apparently he'd never spoken to leaders.. not for the previous batches.

then there's some reflection sessions and all la,
can't remember what happened after,
don't blame me, i had only say, an hour's sleep? [x

so we were released and went to helped out the shadows instead of heading home.
went to jp to get dinner and,
the twenty plus of us went to some blocks nearby to have our meal [x

see, singapore should invest more on places that provides for big groups of people.
so we chatted a lot, and they started talking about charms and beauts in school.
hahaha, amazing. though i wonder why i never notice those people.

knew of a little secret of retard, or rather, a BIG secret [x
yea, and me, bimbo, retard and jessidiot were the last to leave.
cool, and there weren't stars...

today's reunion at jessidiot's house.
was late, but not the latest.
had fun, mahjong, cards, and around the world in 80 days.

oh, her house's amazing too.
there's a jacuzzi and a sauna,
and a telescope and a rooftop to watch stars too! beat that!

yea, so overall,
these days were really wonderfully tiring but really fun.
heh, i've not lived in vain [x

well, tmr's school and YOG training.
guess what's the new singapore cheer?!
where's red? where's white? where's the five stars? where's the cresent moon? SINGAPORE!

hahaha amazing huh? it's from mr koh. amazing.
more will be up, and we'll be leading it. whoo!
heh, yog's gonn be fun tooo :D

so, goodnight, folks.
and i pray you all stay happy, and dream lovely.
sleep sweet, sleep tight.. (:

upside down,
bouncing off the ceiling,
inside out,
stranger to this feeling,
got no clue,
what i should do,
i'll go crazy if i
can't get next to you.

and so, i've overslept and missed the ah-ah song today.
it's okay. sleep while i can,
prep camp ain't that comfortable anymore [x

basketball, asshole daidee, mass dance,
that's what's fun about yesterday.
and a lil running here and there, dante's peak too (crashed tutorial).

got a little pretty high during mass dance,
well, sometimes i just lost control and let myself go wild.
but i bet all enjoyed the highness in the room :D

and i've got to say, F3's spongebob's are just way tooo adorable!
they're all so pretty!
well done! Fthree.

had a little amazing race within us after when we went for dinner.
hahah don't take it to heart, friendly.
afterall, we're one big Fthree family :D

and no idea why i started listening to some rather melancholic music last night.
brought my spirit rather down,
and i settled to some reflections.

and guess she'll never know,
my feelings for her.

well, today's gonna be yet another fun-filled day.
i'd better go prepare already,
i wanna mass dance :D:D:D

hahah.

in the western part of singapore,
there's a place that we belong to.
where we are trained to be crazy,
that's JJC!
i know i know,
fight with heart and soul,
fight with heart and soul,
we'll win you know!

slept all the way till i don't know, ten?
hahaha, hidayah called and asked to play basketball [x
too bad, my bed's not letting me off.

came online and found out debbra jcyx ponteng too.
heh, she's turning bad.. oh oh.
she didn't even bother to set alarm and wake to watch dramas. LOL

oh, and i missed ah-ah song today..
and i missed lessons! awww...
heh. can't blame me my bed ain't letting me off [x

heard they were playing cards and all.
so bad right, never call me along. lol
got to school at two. or a little after two d:

played a little basketball, i'm losing my touch mann,
and can tell gail's getting better whoa~
hahah, abc with breylee the emo girl who hates her au, and kalman.

apparently, i fangshui alot, and gave them them headstarts [x
cuz after all the returning to base shots,
i still managed to win by three shots :D (don't emo cuz you tio burn, breylee)

rushed for Fthree only to find them still slacking away.
so much for rushing huh. and we slacked, and went for ogls meeting.
mass danced and cheered! released, and then Fthree mass danced and cheered! :D

went for a run round the track till the stars are out,
then some night walk ghost hunting. i swear we have three people missing, not one. lol.
and out for dinner with retard, hidayah and amirah.

hmm...

ain't sure if i'll be leaving jjc, but if i am, i'll definitely miss that place.
the people,
that neighbourhood home-ly feeling,
the field,
stars there when we lie in the middle of the field,
mass dancing outside opps room.
stoning while sitting outside affinity,
playing basketball,
seeing retard and hidayah and others doing shabooyahs and cheer moves.
staying in school till late late and go out for dinners,
saying bye to security uncle.
singing all the songs of jjc..

ogeight, Fthree, scdc(high5), leaders, playmates,
lemme try and see how many names i remember.
retard, hidayah, amirah, gadis, sheera, angela, breylee, annabel, jess, gail, jocelyn, juanita, melissa teh, wanjia, zhuang shiow, aaron, eudora, zengyang, kahkah sing, kalman, jolyn, isa, jieheng, sijia, jessica, chongwai, joanne tay, bryan, joel, melissa(o8s20), garrick, ryan, authur and friend, abi and the other guy whom i always forgot to ask his name, stonefish, pearlyn, damien, aaron(track), aaron(og29 ogl), the other og29 leader whose name i forgot, jinhwee, randy, winston and the ruggers! most of o8s20, oh, and not forgetting my sister, desmy!
lol, p/s. oh i actually forgot to type down, i know joy too. hahaha,

whoo, not bad i can remember quite a lot for now.
forgive me if i still ain't getting your names [x
i'm real bad with names, sirously.

heh cool, my brain's still alive.
oh well, better head to bed already.
lovely night y'all, sugar dreams.

sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words will never hurt me...
yea, right.

tmr's gonna be awesome.
cause i said so.

goodnight (:

twinkle twinkle little stars,
how i wonder what you are.
up above the world so high,
like a diamond in the sky,
twinkle twinklie little star,
how i wonder what you are.

shabooya,
back from malaysia i tell you,
the stars there are gor-gor-gor-gorgeous!

it wasn't as interesting ther as when we were younger,
no more running around playing fools,
only television and mahjong and cards kept us alive.

however, time spent with my cousins were priceless.
it's so wonderful to be spending time so carefree-ly.
only the afternoon's heat to worry about.

sleep's never too much nor too little,
sleep whenever you like, wake only to be received by the heartiest meals.
oh, not forgetting the blastings of fire crackers :D

oh mann, someday, i'll retire and return to malaysia,
life there's really great, every night's full of stars (usually)
can't wait for next year [x

tmr's another play day,
and family meeting after with mass dance following up.
i'm already looking forward to the fun joy and laughters.

oh well, forgive me if i didn't get anything back from malaysia,
shops there ain't open for lunar new year.
well, got myself somethings on the way though d:

yea, funny how retard welcomes me back.
and hidayah's keyboard's real cool.
hehh, dang dang dang. tmr hurry come.

oh oh oh. i nearly forgot.
beat this, i met emily on the way to ipoh!
how small a world :D

cool, so i'm probably gonna sleep early so as to get high tmr.
school song singing tmr :D i like.
and i'm longing to ah-ah with th late-coming song.

so, have an amazing night,
and dream sweet sweet dreams.
see you all tmr, and the rests, see y'all round. (:

silent all these while.

billy banjah billy banjah.
billy banjah billy banjah.
nagah hey ya nagah ho ah billy banjah.
nagah hey ya nagah ho ah billy banjah.

have been ponning lessons for the past don't know how many days.
great ain't i? yesterday had nothing much going on.
monday blues.

ponned school today, and went shopping.
didn't manage to get anything though.
lol ended up missing breakfast and trying to settle at where to get lunch.

went to school after, dodging CARS here and there.
but apparently someone got smarter and avoided the cars earlier.
heh.

banquet at jj.
rehearsed and all, nothing much fun except mass dance.
waited to go for dinner afterwards.

spent time in da canteen laughing and all.
sirioously i really enjoy the company and all.
retard's really got a way to get high.

bubble tea with jolene, retard, hidayah, abi (sp) and the other i forgot what's her name. (oops)
but still, it was fun :D
kfc and chatted with the first three.

tmr's gonna be another wonderfully awesome day.
mass dance and all, wow coolness, hahaha
so looking forward to tmr.

malaysia from thursday to sunday.
oh well, i bet it'll be fun.
cuz i havent seen my cousins for ages.

so have a lovely night, lovelies,
and hope you all dream sugar.
(jess says dreams are cause your brain's slept enough  so they start working resulting in dreams. that's so jess can.)
heh.

as we move ahead we know we have to quake,
as we move ahead we know we have to quake.
with faith and hope and dignity,
we fight and fight in unity.
we are JJ's awesome family.

yesterday was totally amazing.
even though i wasn't in the mood earlier in the day.
but after family's three meeting i'm totally fired and hyped up.

jess's totally irresponsible to let her friend wait for one plus hour [x
and loads of cars zoomed past nearly knocking her down. funny.
dinner with howsun, amirah, gadis(sp) and aubrey was total laughters.

leaders games trial today. wet games :D:D:D
family lunch and time with howsun, zihui, jess and amanda.
though didn't do much but was really so nice to be out with them.
esp at toy 'r' us. heh! :D:D:D

i'm already missing basketball, and mass dance!
omg never knew i'll love this so deep.
and i can't wait for o2 intake!
i want my campers! ! ! !

alright, it's such an awesome life now.
great great perfect.
thank you all, i fell at home.

so well, great night ahead, peeps!
and howsun's a real great buddy too!
lol how on earth am i to find another like him? heh [x
dream sweet, sleep tight, all loves.

we feel good! (clap)
oh we feel so good. AH!
oh we feel(clap) so,
oh we feel(clap) so,
oh we feel(clap) so good.
AH! AH! AH!

whoo!
today's such a blast!


went to school with hidayah late and ponned pc to have breakfast.
lol basically, i ponned all, except civics :D
hehh, played the whole day!

basketball mostly,
and went for family mass dance practice!
whoo, it was fun fun hilarious awesome.

i don't know why but seeing how sun and his dance can crack me up so much [x
and apparently jess is still bewildered by the falling leaves :D
lol damn slow. whoops d:

P.S. just read howsun's blog. dang [x
how's the sun? LOL hossen.
well, he's pure fun lah seriously :D

yupp, continue, after meeting the three As asked me weird questions.
then made me and kahkahsing do a weird video.
and we took weird pictures :D:D:D

lol tell you it's really so so so hilarious i can't stop watching and laughing!
and stunting and basketball after was whoo! shiok!
hahaha, great great enjoyable wonderful day.

oh oh oh. and i came home and guess what
i had a bubble bath!
first time in my life, and the bubbles and foam's so cool! SHIOK!

all in all, wonderfully awesome day! hahah
forgive me for the lack of vocab :D

well well, candy dreams, you all! :D
have a great, great night.

indeed, today's a pretty great day.
had plentiful fun and i tell you,
i'm so wonderfully tired :D

ms elvina ain't the nicest teacher around.
at least, not, compared to bailaoshi.
so envy 08A01, and 02's bondedness,

skipped all lessons other then math today
just ain't in the mood to study.
i need sports. i've got a bottomless well of energy.

SCDC meeting was not that bad,
but only four guys! omg.
we all have to be the dancers on stage for o2camp then.

familythree meeting after was random.
kahkahsing ponteng.
danced our dance, and performance on friday.

badminton was uber fun.
seriously, how sun's an awesome guy.
really enjoyed myself :D

oh, JJ cougars vs MI's idk today.
cougars won apparently.
too bad i couldn't make it.
i'll really love to burn the field. hehh :D

well, imma get to bed soon.
and before that i'll read bedtime story to heidi :D
lol. guess this's what bored people do.

goodnight my peeps.
awesome sleep, and dreams.